The term "ghosting" refers to the practice of dating or a friend disappearing without a trace. This could occur in the early stages of a relationship, midway through an existing one, in person, or via the internet. Because you usually don't know what caused the ghosting or how to respond to it, dealing with it can be quite challenging.
The person suddenly stops responding to your communications, whether they be phone calls, emails, or social media messages. Being on the receiving end of such behavior can have serious psychological consequences.
Find out more about the root causes of ghosting and the best ways to deal with the situation if it ever arises in your life or the life of someone you care about.
Why do people ghost?
One of the most frustrating things about ghosting is that it can happen for seemingly no reason. There are several possible explanations and some of them are given below.
The person is uncertain
Perhaps they were deciding between several potential candidates, and you weren't one of them, so they stopped responding to their messages. It's also possible that you and this person didn't have much of a conversation, to begin with, and that this person simply moved on to talking to other people when they found someone they were more interested in.
When someone is feeling uncertain or confused about how they feel, they may opt to "ghost" instead of opening up to you about it.
Past experiences
People might avoid you in this way if they've been harmed in the past and don't want to go through that again. Perhaps they were hurt by a previous partner, either via infidelity or dishonesty.
If you've been hurt before, you might be wary of letting someone inside your heart. Sometimes people will ghost you instead of telling you how they really feel.
Lack of safety
It's not always the case that a person who "ghosts" someone just doesn't care about them. Whether it's physical or emotional abuse or some other form of toxic conduct, there are moments when a partner may not feel secure in the relationship. Someone might ghost them in this situation, but it would be out of necessity.
To not hurt your feelings
If they're worried about upsetting you, they may avoid you by using the ghosting method. They may not want to burden you with the details of why they're breaking up with you, or they may think it would be easier for you both if they just vanished.
If someone you care about ghosts you, for this reason, it's probably because they don't want you to feel pain. It's also possible that they're going through a rough patch and just don't have the emotional reserves to maintain a relationship at the moment.
To protect themselves
People can use the ghosting technique as a protective measure against emotional harm. Perhaps they've been dumped in the past and want to make sure they're the ones to end things this time around. Sadly, that usually causes people to disappear into thin air.
They do not want to commit
Others may avoid you out of fear of commitment, and this could be the reason they give you the silent treatment. They may fear getting too close to someone in case the relationship doesn't work out, or they may believe they are not yet emotionally mature enough for such a commitment.
Someone who is afraid of commitment might ghost you instead of telling you how they feel. The alternative to having an open talk about how you feel is disappearing from that person's life, which is considerably more difficult.
Avoiding confrontation
They avoid confrontation by taking the easy way out. It's the easy way out, sure, but some people would rather cut off all contact with the world than deal with another person's bruised feelings. They probably think you'll get the point if they quit talking to you. It's evident that you wouldn't miss such a blatant "hint" in a million years.
Time constraints
People may choose to ignore you because they simply can't commit to a conversation with you. This may be so because of other priorities, such as work or family responsibilities.
Someone can prefer to "ghost" you rather than tell you directly that they aren't interested in pursuing a relationship with you if they are overly busy and don't have time for you.
Not a perfect match
Being inundated with potential matches and messages is a common occurrence in the world of dating apps. It's easy for someone you're not into to slip through the cracks if you're chatting to a lot of people at once.
Perhaps they were deciding between several potential candidates, and you weren't one of them, so they stopped responding to their messages. It's also possible that you and this person didn't have much of a conversation, to begin with, and that this person simply moved on to talking to other people when they found someone they were more interested in.
They're not into you
It's been said a million times, but it bears repeating: if they wanted to, they would. There are certainly more considerate methods to cut ties. If someone isn't into you, they may not feel obligated to explain why they're no longer going to be talking to you.
Fear that you may reject them
It's possible that some people would avoid you out of nervousness over rejection. They may think you're too good for them, or they may be afraid of your rejection.
If someone is too afraid of being rejected, they may ghost you rather than face that possibility. Eliminating the possibility of hearing, "I don't think this is going to work," is considerably less difficult than disappearing.
Conclusion
While it's upsetting when someone ghosts you, keep in mind that it probably wouldn't have been a good match, and there's now time to explore other options.
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