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Things you should know about secure attachment style

A person's attachment style is a method of relating to others that are informed by their sense of safety in the world. Trust and a sense of safety within partnerships are hallmarks of secure attachment.

It is believed that the attachment type you acquire as a kid shapes how you deal with conflict, what you expect from romantic partnerships, and how effectively you express your feelings.

Healthy growth and adult relationships depend on a child's ability to form secure attachments. A person with a secure attachment style is reliable, cooperative, and self-assured in interpersonal connections.

Persons who are securely attached are those who can fulfill both their partner's and their own demands. This harmony enables them to express their uniqueness while also fostering an atmosphere of safety and closeness in their relationship.

This article will highlight what you need to know about secure attachment style and how you can be in a securely attached relationship.

How do children develop a secure attachment style?

Infants have the innate expectation that their parents will meet all of their requirements. The infant learns to rely on the adults around them to address problems by communicating with them through physical means (like crying).

The confidence their children place in them is never betrayed by parents who successfully raise children with a safe attachment style. However, it's not always as easy as it seems to do this. If you are serious about helping your kid develop a healthy attachment style, you should keep these five things in mind.

How to identify secure attachment in adults?

Securely attached adults easily make friends, form relationships, and feel emotionally close to others.

They are in tune with and able to communicate their feelings and wants on an emotional level. They don't pull any punches and are always honest and forthright.

Positive memories of childhood

Positive memories of childhood are also common among people who are securely bonded.

Even if they did not have an ideal upbringing, they can look back on their lives and find meaning in what they have been through. They have the ability to recognize the positive and accept the negative.

Optimistic about others

These people also tend to have an optimistic outlook on the human race. They have no need for jealousy or suspicion of their loved ones and are quick to trust their spouses.

They don't get uncomfortable or confused when shown affection. People with a stable attachment style tend to be kind, affectionate, and easy to like.

They want to and can sustain substantial, long-term partnerships in love. They like close quarters and form strong friendships quickly.

Positive self-image

Adults who are securely attached tend to have a healthy self-image. They already know how valuable and deserving they are to be loved.

Nonetheless, this in no way implies that they are opposed to or uninterested in developing intimate personal relationships. They experience happiness both alone and in partnerships.

Is it possible to develop a secure attachment style as an adult?

Assuming you fit the above description, you should give thanks for your good fortune. Please express your gratitude to your parents. Maybe you're wondering if you can make your attachment style more secure if you have suspicions that it's not totally secure, to begin with.

A secure connection is something that can be learned, and that's wonderful news for adults. First, it might be helpful to learn about the three distinct forms of insecure attachment.

If you want to have a better sense of where you fit in the bigger picture, reading certain articles could help. Remember that being an exact fit for any given profile is unnecessary. There has never been anyone quite like you, and your life narrative is unlike everyone else's.

Being in a relationship with a securely attached individual

One who is confident in their partner's unwavering support is said to be "secure" in that relationship. Their ability to give and receive in a relationship is well-rounded. They can give their whole attention to their lover since they have no worries about being abandoned or rejected.

They support one another and have a healthy perspective on each other. An open channel of communication is only one example of the various ways in which a confident individual behaves in a partnership. Similarly, they are not afraid to open up about their feelings, experiences, anxieties, etc. As an added bonus, they are kind and sympathetic. They are not shy in showing their feelings for one another.

The factors that influence the secure attachment

Most importantly, a secure attachment type develops when a child is nurtured by a caretaker who provides a stable environment, freedom to explore, and predictability. Keeping a secure attachment requires finishing business with past relationships before moving on to new ones. In sum, a stable attachment style indicates a well-rounded approach to developing and maintaining relationships. They are innate due to early socialization or can be taught via psychotherapy.

Is it too late for you to be in a securely attached relationship?

It is suggested that the quality of romantic relationships in later life is consistent with one's early attachment type. This concept is grounded in the theory that a newborn's first attachment serves as a blueprint for all subsequent bonds.

By the time you're an adult, you've probably acquired some new attachments, some of which may be helpful pillars of strength in times of need or in times of striving for and discovering new passions.

A romantic partner can be an attachment figure, providing emotional support and reassurance to their partner.

Because a person's expectations of their parents, friends, and love partners are shaped by their experiences with their primary caregiver as a kid, an individual's romantic relationships are likely to mirror their early attachment style.

Some scholars have argued that all relationships have a common internal working model, whereas others have argued that there are distinct working models for each form of connection.

That individual may have a strong sense of attachment to their parents yet struggle to feel the same way about love partners.


Some researchers have even suggested that secure bonds are necessary for proper maturation. Half of all people are thought to have a secure attachment style, whereas the other half have insecure attachments (anxious, avoidant, and disorganized). A healthy attachment style may be developed at any age. The process of transforming your anxious attachment style into a confident one may begin immediately.

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