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Writer's pictureLily Schaerer

The art of letting go: How to enjoy your relationship

Relationships are a beautiful thing, but they can also be a source of frustration and disappointment. It’s easy to get caught up in our own expectations of what a relationship should be like, and forget to enjoy it for what it is. But what if we told you that letting go of those expectations could lead to a happier and more fulfilling relationship? It’s time to let go of those expectations and start living in the present.



Let go of the “Happily Ever After” fantasy

We’ve all been conditioned by fairy tales and romantic comedies to believe in the “happily ever after” fantasy. We think that finding the perfect partner will lead to a lifetime of happiness and bliss. But the truth is, no relationship is perfect, and every couple will face their fair share of challenges.


Instead of striving for a perfect relationship, focus on building a strong and healthy one. Be open and honest with your partner, communicate your needs and wants, and work through problems together. Celebrate the good times and learn from the bad ones.

Let go of the “Perfect Partner” fantasy

We all have an idealized version of our perfect partner, but the truth is, no one can live up to that ideal all the time. We might have a list of qualities we want in a partner, but we need to remember that our partner is human, with their own flaws and imperfections.


Instead of focusing on finding the perfect partner, focus on finding someone who complements you and makes you happy. Look for someone who shares your values, who you can have fun with, and who you can imagine growing old with.

Let go of the “Love Should Be Easy” myth

We often hear the saying, “love should be easy,” but the reality is that relationships take work. There will be disagreements, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings along the way. But that doesn’t mean your love is any less real.


Instead of expecting your relationship to be easy, be willing to put in the effort to make it work. Be patient with your partner, listen to their perspective, and be willing to compromise. Remember that relationships are about growing together and learning from each other.

Let go of the “50/50” expectation

Many of us enter into relationships with the expectation that it should be a 50/50 partnership. We expect our partners to give as much as we do, and if they don’t, we feel resentful and disappointed.


Instead of expecting a 50/50 partnership, focus on giving 100% of yourself to the relationship. Be generous with your time, your love, and your support. Remember that a healthy relationship is not about keeping score, but about working together towards a common goal.

Let go of the comparison game

Social media has made it easier than ever to compare our relationships to others. We see happy couples on Instagram and Facebook, and we wonder why our relationship doesn’t look like that. But the truth is, we’re only seeing a carefully curated highlight reel.


Instead of comparing your relationship to others, focus on what makes your relationship unique and special. Celebrate your own milestones, and cherish the moments you share with your partner. Remember that every relationship is different, and what works for others may not work for you.

Let go of the “I’ll Be Happy When…” mentality

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “I’ll be happy when we move in together,” or “I’ll be happy when we get engaged.” But the truth is, happiness is not a destination, it’s a state of mind. If you’re not happy in the present moment, you won’t be happy in the future either.


Instead of waiting for happiness to come to you, focus on finding happiness in the present. Enjoy the little moments you share with your partner, whether it’s cooking together, watching a movie, or taking a walk. Create your own happiness and make the most of every moment.

Let go of the fear of being vulnerable

Being vulnerable in a relationship can be scary. We fear rejection, judgment, and being hurt. But vulnerability is essential to building intimacy and connection with your partner.


Instead of holding back, be willing to open up to your partner. Share your thoughts and feelings, even if it’s uncomfortable. Be willing to listen to your partner’s perspective as well. Remember that vulnerability is a two-way street, and it’s essential to building a strong and healthy relationship.

Let go of the need for control

Many of us enter into relationships with the need for control. We want to plan every aspect of our relationship and make all the decisions. But a healthy relationship is about compromise and shared decision-making.


Instead of trying to control every aspect of your relationship, be willing to compromise and work together with your partner. Listen to their ideas and be open to new experiences. Remember that a strong relationship is built on trust, communication, and mutual respect.

Let go of the past

It’s easy to hold onto past hurts and resentments in a relationship. We may feel like our partner has let us down, or that they’ve hurt us in some way. But holding onto the past only serves to damage our present and future.


Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on moving forward. Forgive your partner for their mistakes, and focus on building a better future together. Learn from the past, but don’t let it hold you back from enjoying the present.

Final thoughts

Letting go of expectations in your relationship is a process that takes time and effort. But by letting go of the things that hold us back, we can enjoy our relationship for what it is - a beautiful, messy, and wonderful journey with another person. So take a deep breath, let go of those expectations, and start enjoying the ride. Remember that a healthy relationship is not about perfection, but about growth, compromise, and love.

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