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Surviving a Breakup

No matter how much we want one, there's no manual for recovering after a heartbreak. Unsurprisingly, the aftermath of a broken relationship is generally characterized by feelings of isolation, identity crisis, pain, and depression. Having a shattered heart is considered by many specialists to be a sort of sadness. In other words, you are not alone in your inability to recover after a breakup.

When a relationship ends, it's not simply the person we loved that we lose but also the hopes and aspirations we had for the future. It's complex heartbreak that requires careful handling. Even if there is no magic bullet for moving on from a past relationship, there are steps you may take to aid in your own recovery.

Write down what you didn't like about that person

Make a list of all the negative aspects of your relationship with this individual. Consider all the bothersome traits they possessed and the concessions you made for the relationship. You should save this list on your phone in case you start thinking about how amazing they were. Both the individual and the connection will likely be idealized. Keeping in mind the person's flaws when dating will help you choose someone who is a more realistic fit.

Do not fight the inevitable progression of your emotions

It's possible you'd rather shut down the mending and try to avoid the upsetting feelings. You can do this in whatever way that lets you temporarily alleviate your suffering and go on with your life.

Though it may hurt, it's best to go ahead nevertheless. Ignoring the temptation to avoid the unpleasant experience of experiencing everything in order to gain insight and perspective is less honest and less helpful than facing it head-on. That's why you must go through it to get out. What's more, you shouldn't feel ashamed or punish yourself for going through this.

Do not go after a rebound

A rebound can provide a brief boost that will make you feel sexy or worthwhile. However, that boost will be momentary. Likewise, as the first euphoria wears off, you can be left with feelings of regret. Rebound regret is common since some people just invested superficially while others risked their emotions. Recognize your pain and accept that you must cope with it if you want to be a responsible person. And prepare to enter the fire.

Try to be grateful for what you cherish

Remember that you had no control over what happened. There's no one "right" reason for a breakup; there are just as many "bad" ones. The choice is ultimately up to the individual. Similarly, you may have lost a significant portion of your life, but you have gained the opportunity to shape who you want to be going forward.

Try to improve your self-esteem

It's typical to start analyzing your looks and character features, wondering what could possibly be wrong with you so that your spouse would initiate the breakup. The correct course of action is to turn that way of thinking on its head.

Instead of dwelling on the things you lack, concentrate on the things you do have and what you provided to the partnership. Make a list of your character and emotional characteristics, talents, abilities, and anything else you feel would be an asset to a potential partner.

Learn from this experience

It's easy to fall into the trap of viewing your ex-partner through a binary lens, either by viewing them as the villain or by placing them on a pedestal and romanticizing them. This narrow viewpoint might result in missing some easy opportunities.

Instead of settling for mediocrity, it's better to go for the stars and think about the good they brought into your life. Being realistic allows one to perceive the connection for what it really was rather than through a lens of projection. Even though your ex wasn't meant to be with you forever, they can still serve as a useful lens through which you can get insight into who you are.

Do not waste time regretting over it

In the midst of it all, you could feel at peace with the split one day and then want them back at any cost the next. Keep in mind that there is no prescribed time frame for moving on from a past relationship. It all depends on the individuals involved, their level of self-improvement, and the circumstances surrounding the separation.

There is no fixed formula, such as "if you were together for ten months, then it should take ten months for you to get over it." Don't be hard on yourself if it's been a while and you're still dealing with it. The emotional roller coaster will wear you down, but it's necessary for recovery.

Do not wait for "closure"

Even while you know that your love life won't end like a Netflix series, there are times when you may wish it did. Most breakups in real life are the result of gradual drifting away, leaving one partner wondering what went wrong. It's possible that reuniting is what's really driving the urge for closure. Realizing and accepting that you were never meant to be together is beneficial for your mental health in the long run.


It's important to go through the anguish of saying goodbye to your ex if you want to be able to turn the page on this chapter of your life and start a new one with a sense of closure. Letting go of resentment against an ex might pave the way to forgiving them and moving on. Determine the most important things from your interactions with this person. It will help you to get through the breakup.

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